Friday, November 24, 2017

Machined (2006)

Machined. The cover art is eye-catching in a Frankenstein-esque sort of way. The description leads us to believe that the film is about a bloke who literally builds his own serial killer out of both human and machine parts, and implies that this project will require more than just one person's parts.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of victims here... in the sad, pointless manner of speaking. The dialog leaves a great deal to be desired but the score/soundtrack was just downright cringe-worthy. Imagine a blatant "Jaws attacks" rip-off playing over and over again for what seems like forever. Eventually it switches over to the skipping-record version of something that vaguely resembles the Halloween  theme. I eventually had to leave the room...I was falling asleep but that wretched music was pounding itself into my head.

So yes, I didn't see the whole film. About 30 minutes in I was struggling to keep my eyes open and not for any previous lack of sleep. I think that right there says a lot about the film, especially since I did manage to stay awake during the entire showing of Dead Clowns (which in 20/20 hindsight I wish I had fallen asleep during.)

What did I manage to see? To put it gently: the screenplay seemed to have consisted of mostly single-syllable words, the FX department really wanted us to see what a grand job they did making a mess as the dead victims stay on-screen display for a bit longer than necessary, we need to be reminded every 20 seconds that the killer's television tends to snow-out, judging by the positioning of the actor's heads I think the script was written on cue cards (ala Blood Feast), and there seems to have been a lot of shots put in solely to meet the minimal run-time requirements for a feature-length film.

Honestly, I think this could have been a lot better as a short. What most lost my attention the most was all the fluff thrown in to drag things out. Cute story idea, but not enough solid material to hold attention.

On the plus side, some of the shots were filmed well. However, that alone wasn't enough to keep me interested.

Film information: Machined

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